i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
