Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
