we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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