She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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