i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
