i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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