Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
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