hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
