I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
