I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
