I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
