we're blogging at a bar
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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