Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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