Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize