wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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