her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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