So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just want nice things and good sex
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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