I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
