i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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