Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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