Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
