Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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