Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Found your dick twin last night
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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