Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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