So drunk its hurt
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
