Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
