I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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