just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
COCAINE IS GR8
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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