I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
