i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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