their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
