i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize