So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
