I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
