Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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