Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
