I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
