Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
