I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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