hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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