I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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