when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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