I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
