is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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