PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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