He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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