How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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