i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
