she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
