Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
