I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
