dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
