I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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