he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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