Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
