those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
not ubering you a puppy
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
