He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
