i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
