now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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