I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
