We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
