i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
