after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
