i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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