i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
