Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize