1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
