Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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