Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize