you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize