it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
