I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The dick lei will go down in squad history
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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