we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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