So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
